Ted 2 Don T You Get It The Teddy Bear Is Alive And Swearing

In case you’ve forgotten – it was three years ago, after all – Ted was a movie about a teddy bear that came to life, grew up with a man named John (Mark Wahlberg), and together they swear and smoke pot and contribute almost nothing positively to anyone; they’re clearly the most interesting protagonists in film history. It came to us from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, who also voiced Ted (sounding exactly like Peter Griffin), and made a ton of money. Now we get a sequel, mostly because of that “made a ton of money” part. Did we need a Ted 2? Probably not. Ted was, I’ll admit, moderately funny, but at least for me it came across as a disappointment. It wasn’t quite funny enough, it felt like an overlong Family Guy episode – MacFarlane’s style of humor struggles to work for a feature-length film – and there was only the bare minimum when it came to plot and characters. It wasn’t without some worth, but it was a forgettable distraction whose popularity continues to baffle me. There are a couple of subplots thrown in that feel like they exist just to kill time – yes, including the requisite MacFarlane musical numbers, of which there are thankfully only two – far too many scenes where nothing much happens, and the entire production is as predictable as they come. All of that was true of Ted, and it’s even truer in the sequel. Given that Seth MacFarlane isn’t exactly shy about throwing in his personal opinions into his work – Brian is a MacFarlane stand-in character on Family Guy, the lowbrow humor often critiques important subjects, etc. – it’s a surprise how little of that is in Ted 2. The whole situation involving Ted could have easily been used for this, but apart from a few instances – such as when one character mentions her ancestors used to be considered “property,” too – it’s mostly just about Ted as an individual and how he can prove that he should qualify as a person. I suppose that’s fine, but it makes Ted 2 feel like a toothless movie missing the bite that could’ve made it worthwhile – since the comedy alone isn’t enough, and the plot and characters are as thin as they come. With an overlong running time filled with lacking characters and a thin, predictable plot, Ted 2 has to rely on its comedy to even come close to justifying its existence, and there just aren’t enough laughs here. There are some fun moments – it’s not a worthless movie – but they’d be too few and far between even if its running time was closer to 90 minutes, not 120. If you liked Ted, chances are you’ll like Ted 2, but if you were disappointed by the first one, the sequel won’t even come close to changing your mind. Bottom Line: Ted 2 is a forgettable sequel to a forgettable movie. Recommendation: You liked Ted? Go see Ted 2. You didn’t like Ted? Skip Ted 2. Simple. [rating=2]